Saturday, April 9, 2011

So Long Old Friend ...

It started out abused, abandoned .... left by the waspy designer whose even waspier clients had decided that it was "too big" and "too green". Left to the elements and loveless home of the jilted upholsterer who had worked so hard on a project that was just "too wrong".
But then came a charming prince. A handsome, charming, and bargain hunting prince named Scotticus. Scotticus saw the beauty in the abandoned "too green", "too big" lovable lug, and carried it home on his Horse named Honda to the Heights of Presidio.
As the years went by, Handsome and Charming Prince Scotticus moved the now happy "too big", "too green" lovable lug from it's birthplace of San Francisco, to the hot and dusty plains of West Texas. TBTG (as we'll call it for short) lived happily in his new home. Meeting new friends, like the Blue Wash pottery vase and majolica urn.
But Handsome, Charming Scotticus was called away yet again, and TBTG was packed up and moved to the new and bustling Virginia Beach. TBTG never quite felt at home in Virginia Beach, TBTG was crammed in his new space. Scotticus, Charming and Caring as he was ... knew that TBTG would be better off in a loftier space. So off to the Hot and Sensual City of Miami they fled. At home in its new high rise loft, TBTG lived open and free, like a horse at pasture, and Scotticus gleamed.
But the day came yet again, when Charming Scotticus was called away, to urgent business back in the dusty plains of West Texas, where TBTG knew there was an even deadlier, more menacing villain to contend. The evil Artiemoose. Artiemoose, a designer with a firm dislike for all things "too big" and "too green", along with those "too wrong" was cryptonite to TBTG. So TBTG fought the move. Kicking and Screaming, tossing it's throw pillows and rumpling it's cushions.
Sweet, Charming Scotticus urged TBTG to understand, his love for the menacing Grinch Artiemoose was growing and somehow, they had to both learn to live in the same space, happily together. And for a while, they did. Artiemoose decorated around TBTG, painting walls to help camouflage his immense green-ness. He even bought green accessories, and tried every possible coordinating color and fabric available.

Every day the evil Artiemoose wished that TBTG would give up it's silent battle, and retreat. And as TBTG grew older, Artiemoose knew the day was quickly approaching. On TBTG's 13th birthday (900 in sofa years) the evil Artiemoose convinced the Charming and Handsome Scotticus to send TBTG to the nursing home for the "too big" and the "too green".

The evil Artiemoose consoled the sobbing Scotticus, "you can still visit him, Scotticus, he'll be better taken care of now." And as Scotticus climbed onto the borrowed horse Tahoe, Artiemoose let out a devilish laugh ... So long Old friend ... hello, new sidekick!

R.I.P
TOO BIG TOO GREEN
April 1997 - April 2011