Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Unsolicited Advice : No Joke

Anytime you post your room on HGTV's RateMySpace, or on any blog, you have to be ready for the unsolicited advice from thousands of people who happen across your photos everyday. Each time I make comments to someones interiors, I am cautious, and sometimes ultra sensitive to their feelings because I know that a home, and the way it is decorated, is the most prideful possession to most.

Today, I read some of that unsolicited advice, and thanks to RateMySpace, was able to get a few photos of the commenter's home to share with you here. Let me know what you think:


This reminds me a lot of my family room, in that it is on the small side and has 2 sets of dark wood french doors in it. I like your color choices and love the chocolate leather chairs and ottoman. I like that you thought outside the box and went for all chairs instead of a sofa. It does seems a bit cramped and a bit awkward, especially the 2 chairs facing the fireplace. I think you could reposition them by pulling the one in the left foreground around into the empty corner and the one in the left background to the foreground. The table/lamp should then go between the one in the corner and the one to the right of the fireplace. This would free up the french doors and uncramp things a bit. The corner is underutilized right now. It would also give you vignettes to look at when entering through either set of french doors. 2 chairs angled toward each other with a table in the center when you enter through the set on the right and 2 chairs flanking the fireplace when you enter at left.

Now, I believe that this was the room the decorator thought my room reminded her of. I can totally see how she'd come up with that, can't you?

Perhaps it was this space?

The Dining Room.

And the "Haven", as it was referred.
Now, to be fair - the advice was not bad. The way the photo was taken, you can't tell that there is yet another set of french doors in the room, rendering the advice for furniture placement non-functional.
I also don't decorate in vignettes. I think big picture.
I agree that the ottoman is oversized, for the space, and in general. I however like the weight and feel of large scale furniture pieces, and to put all at ease, the fireplace is non-functioning. So there isn't a chance of the house catching fire due to the decorative choices I made. This particular ottoman is very special to me, and has a significant meaning. So although it might not be what I would purchase for the room the way that it is set up at this very moment, there is no aching need inside of me to replace it.
The real message here is this: when you open your home up to the wide wild world of the internet, you never know who will walk through the door. Make sure that you can shake off the small stuff, live with the sometimes unsolicited advice, or less than constructive criticisms, and that you look a little deeper than the surface. Sometimes you'll find that portfolio of the person with all of the helpful tips, doesn't match the overall look you're going for anyway. Happy Tuesday, all!


  1. Oh I know what you are saying, some folks leave such nasty comments, so rude. I mean it might not be a designer show case but some people do the best they can with what they have you know. I know my taste and spaces are not for others but then they don't live here.
    Now some of those photos you are showing, hmmmmm, well I won't say but they scare me.

  2. omg omg omg - this is hysterical, i am cracking up at the subtlety of it all!!!!!!!! well, not so subtle really - but an ATTEMPT at subtlety!!! heheh

  3. Yikes! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the commenter's pictures!

    This is why I've never posted on RMS! I think I'm a little too thin skinned!

    ☺♥☺ Diane

  4. OMG! I cannot believe this person thought she was qualified to give YOU decorating advice!!!!! heeheeheeeeeeeeee

    Justine :o )

  5. Good Morning Artie,

    As the saying goes.....'WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT'....

    I know I have too much furniture in most of our rooms, but I enjoy the 'cocoon' feeling I get. I'm sure it has something to do with my personality or the lack of something I'm needing in my life. Who knows????? But we enjoy our home and that's all that counts.

    This was an interesting post. :)


  6. I juat spit my coffee all over my keyboard! As I tell my boys... let it roll! I won't get nasty but I think you can sleep tonight knowing that TASTE is something you're born with. Thanks for sharing your good taste with us!

  7. it's like telling Mother Earth
    that the sky *should be* orange
    so people won't mistake it for ocean...

    well, the good news is:
    at least it's funny
    (in a really hideous way)!

    the only comparison is:
    your tastes = awe
    theirs = awww, no!

    your Followers think you're in the proper (and gorgeous) dimension!
    peace~ Chuck

  8. OMG!! Well, we all know just too well how true this is. Many of us started out in blogland. Sometimes it's hard to consider the source. Because, they don't even have a space posted. It's fun to read comments from someone that's decorating taste is as bad as their judgement in comments.

    We all know what a wonderful home you have. You are great at design. And like gollum would say: "It's just a troll." laugh it off and move on!!

  9. I have had the exact same experience on Rate My Space. It is a fun site with a LOT of visitors but you just have to shake it off ... too funny!

  10. Reminds me of one of my favorite lines by Alice Walker. She was walking in the late fall garden of her mother and veggies were in various stages of life and death and her mother said, "Take what you can use and let the rest rot." Alice reflected she had never heard better advice about religion. I think there was never better above life. Period. Create what you love and love it.

  11. Artie, Has your tongue left its residence inside your cheek yet? LOL
    You have class, my friend, and it shows in all that you do and say...

  12. You are SOOOO bad :)Seriously, that (and really bad tech issues) is the reason I don't RMS anymore. Much nicer to hang out with my blog friends!

  13. The room is really beautiful. I bet that's the most amazing room to hang out in. The purpose of this room is for sitting & relaxing, not running around in & so I think the scale is perfect. (I'm thinking of doing this 4 chair set up in our new house!! It just looks so intimate!!)

    I think I might be too thin-skinned for HGTV myself. haha

  14. Wow, I couldn't tell the 2 rooms apart... LOL and more LOL... :)

  15. Well now your rooms are almost identical! Don't you see that?! lol That was sarcasm BTW.

    I think your room looks fantastic and comfortable. I can completely picture myself in one of those chairs with a glass of wine. Like you said, you never know what you will get on RMS. I posted my bathroom pics and the first person to rate gave it a "2." lol Oh well, shrug it off.

  16. I really got a good laugh from this post.I too have posted rooms on rms,it is quite an experience!My husband begged me not to post our rooms there after I showed him some of the comments in similar situations as yours.I did it anyway,I told him I was tough and could take it and that I love our home and that it wouldn't bother me what others said.The reaction was overall good but I won't lie,those little attacks did bother me a little.I thought it was interesting how the one bad comment out of twenty would stick in my head.I will be posting there again someday.It is something you need to be prepared for though.Your example of your experience there is perfect.So many experts out there.....

  17. I left and was still thinking of you and your room.I had to come back and say,I love your style,you impress me alot and I also love your music when I come here...5 *****!! :)

  18. This is the best entry I've read all day. Thanks for the big laugh.

  19. OH~~~~ they made me laugh so much!!
    I just love your home and what you do with it. I think that the ottoman is a great WOW factor.
    Have a great day,

  20. ...and A HAPPY TUESDAY TO YOU, my dear Artie. You not only handled the criticism like the gentleman you are but also did it as a Professional would.

    Hugs, hugs, hugs -Brenda-

  21. I haven't been to that site... but I have had my run-ins as well. I told you about the people wanting me to paint my woodwork. I tried to explain that it is a historic home, and the wood is 100 years old, and in Queen Anne you don't paint wood... but they just won't listen!

    You have to be honest to yourself and do what you like.

    And those pictures crack me up. 'nuff said!

  22. I haven't been to that site... but I have had my run-ins as well. I told you about the people wanting me to paint my woodwork. I tried to explain that it is a historic home, and the wood is 100 years old, and in Queen Anne you don't paint wood... but they just won't listen!

    You have to be honest to yourself and do what you like.

    And those pictures crack me up. 'nuff said!

  23. ... I have one sentence for you: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! (And your space is scrumptious.)

  24. HOLY COW....it is amazing what peeps will say. I like what you said about being careful to make comment on people's decor...after all, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.
    Your rrom is FAB and I like the ottomon, large scaled or not! :>)

  25. Artie you home is stylish and spectacular in every way.
    I love it and your new furniture placement.

    I know exactly who the lady is from RMS.
    I know more details.
    Leave me a comment if you want me to email you.

    Have a wonderful evening.
    ~Melissa :)

  26. That is really funny.

    Everyone thinks they are the best decorators, huh? Just like they think they are the best drivers...the best parents..the best cooks...

    However, your room is stunning. I just sat and stared at it in awe before I even continued to read.

    I would have rated your space 5 stars and said...nothing. I would have realized you were just inspiring ME.

    Great post!

  27. This was a great post! I wonder what this person charges...lol

  28. I think you have a wonderful room just the way it is!! Your furniture placement is just the way you like it, and that is all that matters. I have been enjoying all of your pictures, they are all very nice.

    People & their comments just amaze me!!

  29. I'm over in the giggling corner with Joni and company.

    I don't really even know what to say - the pictures say it all.

    xo Isa

  30. Your room is beautiful! The rooms of the person who gave you "advice" were kinda cheesy...too funny!!!!!

  31. Artie, Well, Kate the Great took my first comment - but really I do adore your room and when I win the lottery I am going to borrow it's design. How's that for flattery! I always enjoyed the multiple chair seating group over the sofa/loveseat combo - but you have to go with what's best for your room..... I'm afraid to post on RMS now because it has turned "a little but nasty" and mean spirited....Robyn

  32. Which one was your room? They all look so similar.

  33. LOL, Artie, that is hilarious. I know, I sure try not to diss someone online, as you're right, everyone has different tastes. I've been given unsolicited advice plenty of times too & just have to ignore it for the most part.

    Your space is lovely!

  34. Freaking hilarious....OMG, I needed a good laugh today!

  35. I love that room. It may not be designer perfect but that's what makes it so nice!!
    I don't have a blog but I do post on RMS and I sometimes get hurt by comments as well. I just have to remember that decorating my home is a work in progress and we love living here.

  36. I remember when your living room was first posted to Rate My Space that it quickly went to Top Rated. Thanks for putting unsolicited advice into perspective. I think I've got an inactive blog--I was Fieldstone on RMS.